TAMPA, Fla. — From adults to kids none of us are immune to anger, but what are we really mad about?
Tampa Bay 28 anchor Wendy Ryan, who covers mental health, recently attended the Florida Behavioral Health Conference, where she met a woman who has a master's in marriage and family therapy and expertise in anger management.
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She said anger often masks something much deeper.
“I want parents to start to sit down children and to say, 'what's really happening?' 'How can I help you?' 'Let's practice our coping skills,’” said Sarah Conklin.
Conklin is a therapist with expertise in anger management. Recently, she led a workshop at the Florida Behavioral Health Conference in Orlando. She wanted the audience to see anger through a new lens. Conklin said anger often signals deeper emotions.
“It's fear. It's embarrassment. It's loneliness. So, I just want everyone to kind of understand to not look at anger as just one thing, but this domino effect,” said Conklin.
During school hours, when a child explodes in frustration, Conklin said teachers may miss the true cause.
“Let's take the child in the classroom, who is having an outburst. Is he just having an outburst? No, it's because he's embarrassed that he wasn't able to perform on a test. Or he's feeling lonely or left out from his peers or other students around him,” explained Conklin.
For many adults, anger feels like a wave that’s hard to control. Conklin explains how you respond in stressful moments is often learned in childhood.
“When you were raised, how did your mom react when you got a bad grade? Did she explode? Likely, you have the same tendency to do the same thing. Does that mean it's fixed? No, it just means you need to learn a different nervous system response and respond in a different way,” said Conklin.
When couples fight, anger can feel like a wall. Conklin’s biggest advice? Step away, find calm, and return when you’re ready.
“Take a time out. That is the number one most effective tool for working with anyone who's struggling with anger. Take a time out, go to your room, go sit in the car, go with a friend, take 10 minutes away, And say, we're gonna revisit this conversation, when I'm not in this headspace,” said Conklin.
Share Your Story with Wendy
Tampa Bay 28 Anchor Wendy Ryan is dedicated to helping our neighbors navigate the important topic of mental health. For years, she’s been connecting people to resources, listening to their challenges, and sharing their stories to decrease the stigma. You can connect with Wendy by using the form below.
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