TAMPA, Fla. — Tampa Bay anchor Wendy Ryan covers mental health stories and, over the years, has searched for free resources to help your mental well-being.
Ryan recently met with a retired VA hospice nurse whose work has touched thousands of lives right up to their final moments. Now she shared with Ryan what she’s learned from the dying before it’s too late for the living.
“Everything I've learned that has really mattered, I learned from the dying. Perspectives shift dramatically as death approaches. The day before you're given a terminal diagnosis, you take your life for granted. The day after, you wake up,” said Deborah Grassman, reading her book ‘Soul Injury.’
For over three decades as a VA hospice nurse practitioner, Deborah Grassman helped over 10,000 veterans take their final breath in peace.
In those sacred moments, she began to see something they all carried. She calls it a “Soul Injur,y” a wound that quietly haunts you.
“When you have a wound that causes you to become separated from your own sense of self, your real self. And that's what veterans were often reporting that they went off to the military. They experienced certain things, and some came back and said, 'I wasn't the same person.' And you know, 'I still don't know who I am,’" said Grassman.
She warns that soul injuries don’t just come from war; they can follow any deep loss like retirement, midlife crisis, or death of a loved one.
“Any time you lose your way to where you have gotten cut off from yourself. That's a soul injury,” said Grassman.
It’s why Deborah and four fellow hospice nurses started a nonprofit group, Opus Peace to share what they learned before people reach the end.
One tool they teach came straight from the veterans themselves.
“When they would be telling me these stories, they would often hold their heart. And over time, I just kept noticing how when they would when these regrets would surface, they would just kind of automatically hold their heart,” explained Grassman.
She calls it “Anchor Your Heart.” It’s a way to be fully present and a simple grounding tool for peace in moments of pain and joy.
“It's clearing the mind of chatter, taking a few deep breaths. I usually say three, if you can just take three deep breaths with some mindfulness. Anchor, tenderly, firmly,” said Grassman.
She continued, “Letting your heart know, hey, I'm here for you.”
“I think it's a signal to your brain. Just be mindful of that moment. It matters,” said Mary Ellen Smith, a retired registered dietician.
Smith anchors her heart during difficult moments and beautiful moments as well.
“I was at midnight mass singing with a choir and an orchestra. And you cannot replace a moment like that. A moment like that, you just want to carry it with you and relish it,” explained Smith.
Grassman continues to help others heal their relationship with themselves through her new novel, "Soul Injury."
“You are struck with the abrupt realization of how your life matters and how you matter,” said Grassman, reading from her book.
Opus Peace is having a free, three-minute “Pause for Peace” virtual event on Feb. 2. It starts at 3 p.m., and it’s for National Anchor Your Heart Day. There will also be a free one-hour live webinar at 2 p.m. called “You Matter! Let the Threat of Death Wake you Up.” You can click here to register for the events.
You can learn more about Deborah Grassman’s book "Soul Injury" here.
Share Your Story with Wendy
Tampa Bay 28 Anchor Wendy Ryan is dedicated to helping our neighbors navigate the important topic of mental health. For years, she’s been connecting people to resources, listening to their challenges, and sharing their stories to decrease the stigma. You can connect with Wendy by using the form below.
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